Welcome to the Guardians CCG Page

This is a site dedicated to the Guardians collectible card game released by FPG in the mid '90s. This was a great game featuring beautiful artwork and a complex battle system. The game is now out of print and some cards are extremely difficult to find.

Here you will find alternate rules and game mods (including solo play), homebrew cards, and links to other Guardians sites.

Search This Blog

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Buster Scrimbo's Card Profile #5: Dork Age

Type:  Spell
Set:  Necropolis Park

Text:  "Play as a Command Card. Your Creatures WIN any primary match-ups in which they are beaten by more than 10 Vitality, unless the match-up opponent is a Guardian."



Buster Scrimbo's Analysis:

"That daggum Tookle! Always gots lots o' l'il folk runnin' 'round and makin' a mess o' things...eatin' all the food and drinkin' all the beer that they can git their grubby mitts on, stealin' folks gold, and just generally causin' havoc...then when ye try to put a stop to such nonsense, it be like kickin' over a beehive and watchin' the evil little beasties come after ye with their stingers! Rumor be that one o' Tookle's wee folk found this Spell when snoopin' 'round the Necropolis and mass-produced it. Those midgets be up to no good if ye ask me! And that feller on the Spell's artwork looks like he might be mad...ye'd have to be, to create a Spell like this.

Anyhoo, the last thing Tookle needs be more help, but this Spell be doing that very thing. Sure, lots o' folks could use this spell, but Tookle benefits the most. Those l'il folks take a whollopin' in combat, but now when they get smacked down, they can beat anything from Dragon Wing Lords to Old Nick. It shuts down channelin' (who wants to channel into a matchup in order to lose?), and the more combat modifiers the opposin' fella has, the more likely he be to lose. But the pain don't end there, no sir. You ain't seen nothin' until you seen a handful o' Idiots rush into combat and beat everything thanks to this dadgum Spell! Thank the Gaurdians that there be some ways to counter it, mainly Dispel Magic or Sikura's ability, but in a pinch, the standard Tookle counter o' a good-sized AOE will fend off the annoyin' critters. Or ye could use 40,000 Useless Warhammers, which evens things out quite bit and might give ye an advantage if ye got some modifiers.

Say, did I ever tell ye about the time when I was in Mystfall and talked to the King about startin' some Fairy-tossing contests? My money woulda been on that Huge Rock Giant fella, but it were just a fool's dream since the King got bent outta shape and had ME tossed through that fool Gateway! Hoowee, talk about whackin' a hornet's nest..."

No comments: